Ok so feeling melancholy today for some reason....when you go through the cancer thing you learn what to NOT say when you have a friend who may have just found out they have cancer....for instance...
Do not ask what stage it is in......they may not know...at first when you find out you get little information, much is depended on how much you research yourself and ask questions. And you don't really know what questions to ask. Translated by a cancer patient....how long do I have to live???
Do you have to have chemo??? Many things depend on whether you have chemo or not...what type of cancer you have, where you have it, if it is hormone receptive, whether you want to live longer or not. First step is getting the cancer out....second step is checking elsewhere in your body...Third step is being proactive in making sure the cancer does not come back anywhere else in your body. Translated by a cancer patient....they want to know if I am gonna lose my hair?
When people ask specific question it is awkward to give answers (family and close friends do not apply) please just ask how the person is doing...if they want to give you specifics they will, if they feel comfortable discussing details then you are fortunate to have their trust. It is sensitive information, you feel totally violated anyway...sometimes you just don't want to explain everything to just anybody.
Cards are nice, calls are nice...food and visits are nice :) Just knowing people are thinking about you and make a concerted effort to let you know is nice.
Onward and upward.....gonna tackle a closet or organize a drawer today maybe...
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Susan,
ReplyDeleteI think this is such important information. I know that most questions come from concern, but we don't realize how it comes across to the person we ask. Much the same as when I used to be asked "when are you going to have kids?" Thank you for the guidance. And I apologize if I crossed that line with you.
Sonya