God does the healing...

and the doctors (and the pharmaceutical companies) get the fees.
Yesterday was my appointment with Dr. Bane, oncologist.  He is also Tom's doctor...who he sees for polycythemia vera which is an abnormal increase in the number of blood cells (primarily red blood cells) produced by the bone marrow.  He actually takes a form of chemo for it's side effects...slowing down the making of red blood cells.   So we were familiar with and trusted this doctor.
In the cancer world, size matters.  He stated that my cancer was stage 1 (smaller than .5cm, level 2 (aggressiveness rated 1-3) and hormone receptive, so all the treatment he recommended was to take a hormone blocker for 5 years (mainly because of the level 2) .....worst side effects, hot flashes, joint pains possible...I will still be seeing the Plastic surgeon once a week for the reconstruction process and another surgery in the future but feeling very thankful right now....no chemo :)   Which means I get to keep my hair...the girls said they wouldn't shave their heads to support me if I had to have chemo... but we have plans when Bethany comes home to all get tattoos together...we tried to do that in August when I found out that I had cancer...but they wouldn't do a tattoo because of my diagnosis and surgery/treatment.  Now...no cancer...no chemo!  Don't worry mom, it is not a huge tribal tattoo on my neck, boob wanna be or midriff...just a dainty word on my inner wrist  :)
Micah and Kaitlyn also came yesterday...so it was great to share this news with them.  It is good to see them again, and be able to spend time together.  We miss Bethany :(  

I finished another painting ..it is for a young girl at church who wanted one...it was fun to paint for her.  I have also started one for her sister. This one is actually one canvas, just painted to look like three.  I would love to have a huge room and paint huuuuuge canvas, the bigger the better!!     Maybe I will transform Micah's old room ??? 
I am enjoying the time off work, I have to pace my activity...or else I incur more swelling and soreness.... am looking forward to it becoming less and less.  Because tomorrow is expansion day again......

Inflation Day....LOL!!!

Okay so today was the first time that I was to receive injections in the expanders that were placed under my pectoral muscles during surgery...I asked the Dr. how often I had to do this...he replied , "Every week now...always on Thursday, it is Expansion Day"....I said" WHAT???  I thought you called it Inflation Day??"  He chuckled and said no he had never called it that.  HAHA  so I got the name wrong....but made the Dr chuckle :D.  He asked me if I was nervous...said no not really, figured it wasn't going to be any worse than anything else I had been through.  They used a magnet to find the port...inserted the needle and slooowwwwlllyy proceeded to add I don't know how many CC's of saline...not too bad...just pressure. Piece of cake.

The Pee Couch

So today I did my morning walk (over a mile) then made cranberry scones, washed dishes, exercised,visited with a friend, walked some more......now very tired, relaxing on my friend, the pee couch.
Leah said I need to explain the pee couch.   We have neighbors who throw good stuff out.  We have retrieved from their trash at the curb ...a TV, a coffee pot, a cd player with detachable speakers, a landscape pond...  we have made covert trips across the street to retrieve the goods before someone else picked them up. Or I made Micah do it.  :)   I finally called my neighbor and said "Please just call me if you have good stuff like that to get rid of!"  So she did one day, said she had a tan loveseat...has recliners in both seats and did I want it??    After checking it out Tom and his brother carried it across the street for me....it was heavy!!  but it smelled of urine....ewwww....so I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned and deodorized, stuck fabric softener sheets in every crack of the cushions.....put it outside to air out...left it in the garage for awhile....finally it was worthy of being in my living room.....hence the name pee couch.  I was all set to get rid of it soon, but now it is my friend, it reclines almost flat in the second position....and it is so comfortable to sleep on (not Tom though he is tooooo long) so it may get to stay in my living room, after I am recouped enough to spend a whole night in my bed. 

Therapy

Therapy yesterday...going to Bayers Farm Market, pumpkins, mum, melon, peppers.....

TODAY'S therapy, making my famous fresh salsa:

Chop:
2 large tomatoes 

4 banana peppers

1 small jalapeno pepper

onion to taste (1/4 cup or more if you want)

Add:

1 can black beans, rinsed & drained (or another type of bean if you prefer)

fresh parsley

Mix this dressing and pour over the chopped vegetables:

1/8 c. apple cider vinegar

1/4 c lime juice

3 TBSLP olive oil

1 TBLSP sugar

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

1 tsp cumin

dash of garlic powder.

Serve with tortilla chips.   I have also added avacodo, mango, corn and jicama...you can't mess this recipe up.

Our family loves it. ENJOY!!

Stereotactic Breast Biopsy

I wanted to go back again and explain what my experience was like with this biopsy, didn't really give any details earlier.  Just one of those so you know what your momma went through...now you know...and can ask questions if you want....

I of course looked it up on the internet...had heard of this awkward table that you laid on...I even asked my gynecologist the couple of days before I had the biopsy if they were still using the tables and he kinda chuckled and said "Yeah I heard they use those"  ....but no details.  Well the table was a high table you had to crawl up onto (using a stepstool)  you had to lay stomach down and it had a strategically placed hole so your breast could hang down.  They explained how they would compress the breast (mammogram) and find the best angle to insert the needle.  They numbed me a couple needle pricks...not too bad.  I had to lay with my face towards a big window...which they assured me no one could look into (construction workers...haha) but when laying down all i could see was the top of the trees.  They proceeded to compress and work under me...sounded like they were on a dolly...couldn't understand why they didn't raise the table so they could work more comfortably under me??

During stereo imaging, two-dimensional digital images of your breast are taken from two different angles. Both images are sent to a computer for image analysis. The computer compares the data from each image and calculates the three-dimensional location coordinates for your breast abnormality. which mine were calcification clusters.. With such precise information to guide the biopsy needle, the radiologist can accurately sample fluid or tissue.  I had a vacuum assisted biopsy (which may take eight or ten tissue samples) . Because they leave scars that can show up on mammograms and ultrasound, a tiny metal tag, clip, or marker was left at the biopsy site, it also helps radiology technicians locate the biopsy site for future use if needed.  They showed us the little marker, like $300 for the titanium speck they put in there.  I want to ask for a refund now...I am sure they can sterilize it and recycle the little thing.....

When i was undergoing this procedure it wasn't horrible, I was numb, just laying there...not too uncomfortable on the hard plastic rounded table...I was just laying there asking God for his presence to be with me and give me his peace....just about then one bird flew across the sky and landed in the tiptop of the tree.  There was no other activity in the sky.  It was a comfort...it reminded me of the Holy Spirit...then soon two other birds joined him...haha Okay I thought The Father, The Son AND the Holy Spirit!!!  wow God is amazing...such great peace....
afterward the technician and I got into a discussion on human trafficking and Costa Rica...i think she had been there recently is how we got on this discussion, so of course Micah i had to tell all about your adventures and explain the documentary  :)

It was amazing the peace that God gave me AND Tom during this whole whirlwind couple of weeks before surgery and after.  I remember after the biopsy it wasn't a peace like....you won't have cancer type of peace...but a peace like I will take care of you NO MATTER what may come your way kinda peace...which is even a better promise.  I can truthfully say that I didn't have any fear.....no fear, just His peace....what an amazing blessing that is, if you need it....ask Him for it ....He will give it to you... and keep your mind stayed on Him.

God IS good!!

Wow...what a great time in worship this morning....It is so awesome how we can come boldly right into the presence of God and be wrapped in his mercy and his love. Great message from Erika -who was a missionary in Russia (where Bethany went) wow, such humility and clarity from this young woman. We also got to see Bob & Raye Combs our good friends from Indiana.  Wouldn't have missed this day with friends.....

It was good to be able to get out of the house today, go out to eat and then return home to relax!!!  A rainy day....a good movie...curled up on the couch....yeah it has been a good day.    I can't believe it has only been 2 weeks since surgery day.  God has been so good,  God IS good!!

YEAH!

It is so much easier to take a shower without drain tubes.   :)

A Minor Road Bump

I have recieved that word from the Lord a couple times "this will be only a road bump" in your life from a couple different people.  Here is another word that someone gave me that really spoke to my heart...
"My beloved Susan, do not be afraid nor enter into these days ahead with fear or a sense of Trepidation. I will give you wisdom and direct your steps.  In the not-to-distant future you will look back at this time as absolutely supernatural and you will know your God has been with you.  Let me lead you, for surely I have gone before you to make a way even against impossible odds, says the Lord."
so you see why I haven't been worried...God has been truly with me, with us, His presence has enveloped us. He has given me His peace and He has directed our steps.   At the surgeon's yesterday he confirmed that there was no cancer in all the tissue they removed and sliced and diced....so the cancer that they found had all been removed by the biopsy, that is how small it was and how early it was!! Isn't that amazing?? he is sending me to an oncologist to get his expertise in the matter, but mentioned that I might not have to do any treatment..that would be amazing... 
I think of how fortunate I am ...how blessed I am..............and am humbled. 
It has been a truly supernatural time and God has been with us.

Double Dr. Day

Trying to get ready for my 2 surgeon's apts today...mostly it is about the clothes....trying to look normal.  What is that? trying to look like everybody else?? who cares....my husband says I look good the way I am. (love him <3)  I guess that is the dilemma in this in between stage, to stuff or not to stuff..that is the question. HA.  Boob shirts are definitely out...camisoles are really comfy....so i guess a cami with a button down shirt to hide the drains......WHICH are coming out today at approximately 4:30. Woo Hoo. THEN i will feel almost normal  :)

What not to ask a cancer patient...

Ok so feeling melancholy today for some reason....when you go through the cancer thing you learn what to NOT say when you have a friend who may have just found out they have cancer....for instance...
Do not ask what stage it is in......they may not know...at first when you find out you get little information, much is depended on how much you research yourself and ask questions. And you don't really know what questions to ask. Translated by  a cancer patient....how long do I have to live???
Do you have to have chemo???  Many things depend on whether you have chemo or not...what type of cancer you have, where you have it, if it is hormone receptive, whether you want to live longer or not.  First step is getting the cancer out....second step is checking elsewhere in your body...Third step is being proactive in making sure the cancer does not come back anywhere else in your body.    Translated by a cancer patient....they want to know if I am gonna lose my hair?
When people ask specific question it is awkward to give answers (family and close friends do not apply) please just ask how the person is doing...if they want to give you specifics they will, if they feel comfortable discussing details then you are fortunate to have their trust.  It is sensitive information, you feel totally violated anyway...sometimes you just don't want to explain everything to just anybody.
Cards are nice, calls are nice...food and visits are nice :)     Just knowing people are thinking about you and make a concerted effort to let you know is nice.
Onward and upward.....gonna tackle a closet or organize a drawer today maybe...

Blessed

I wanted to also thank my family for all they have done for me.  Thank you for the food that sits in my freezer Joanne and Leah...for all the hardwork and sacrifice that you two did on that meal blitz day. Thanks kids for calling me, chatting with me, doing errands, checking up on me.....
Most of all thanks to my hubby for loving me, taking me away...being there for me ...supporting me, laughing with me and being my strong support through all this...thanks for walking beside me on this journey.  God has been ever present, giving us His peace since the diagnosis of cancer...He is good, His mercy endures forever. I love you all. :)

Two suspicious mammograms. A stereotactic breast biopsy. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma -Breast Cancer.

a little over 10 days since surgery, i know should have been journaling all along...wasn't sure if I wanted to...you know..who do you want to read it?  but I know if i don't write it down I will forget things.....

so i will digress a little.
August 11  was at work getting ready to interview someone for a position we were hiring for...and I received the call "I hate to call you at work but....the biopsy results weren't good...it is cancer.  Can you please come into the office tomorrow to talk to the surgeon?"   I took a deep breath...went to the interview...then afterwards emailed Tom...told Joanne and Leah...and then my boss.  God gave me great peace at the very beginning...Tom and I both, is was such a relief to trust Him for the next day..not to worry and know that He loved me the day before I knew I had cancer, and the days ahead...
August 12  left work met Tom at the Surgeon's office...Dr. Anderson..they had scheduled us in between his surgeries so we waited a little while until he was finished.  He came into the conference room where they had placed us with a folder and a blank sheet of notebook paper.  I remember thinking "Where is his powerpoint? or pamphlets??" He proceeded over the next hour or so do outline what type of cancer I had, what choices I didn't have and what choices I did have.  he was very thorough, answered our questions, etc.  During the course of the conversation it came out that he was a Christian...he said he didn't worry about his patients that were Christians, he realized he is "just playing in the dirt" and that God is the great Physician.  He said he knew we needed to pray about it and process the info that was given...  We went home... Micah & Kaitlyn (and Matt) arrived that late afternoon...(a previously God appointed scheduled trip) We had ordered pizza, we were gathered around to pray and BETHANY walked in too, they had kept this last minute surprise!!  So all our family was together....we had a great time of togetherness, early birthday party for Matt and Kaitlyn and lots of eating together.   
August 17  Called the surgeon to let them know what I had decided....bilateral masectomy with reconstruction.  They faxed my records to the plastic surgeon...made an appointment with Dr. Schmidt.
August 21  Took the day off, Tom went with me to the surgeon...he explained the procedures and recommended the bilateral mastectomy breast implant reconstruction, instead of using abdominal muscles and tissue to do reconstruction. With having 5 abdominal surgeries I was okay with that...darn, no free tummy tuck though.
I worked the next week, getting my surgery date of Sept 4th, trying to train others to take the slack of me being gone, giving jobs to other employees, tying up loose ends, etc.  Tom decided that he would like to take me away for the weekend...I made reservations near Cincinnati, we were going to go to Valley Vineyard for a steak dinner and then spend the night in a hotel.....he had originally wanted to go to Mammoth caves...but we just couldn't get the plans solidified.  I remembered that night when I had gone to bed that Carolyn Spicer had asked me if the Elders were going to use the lake property for a retreat this year...because it was booked up all after Labor Day, it dawned on my that this was the week before Labor Day...and wondered if we had a shot at going to Angola?? Tom called her the next day, it was available!!  We cancelled our other reservations and made arrangements to leave on Friday, spend the night and come back on Saturday.
August 28 no where can compare to Howard & Carolyn's lake property...it rained and was cold, we didn't even get to go onto the Lake...but the peace of God is in that place.  What a wonderful place to spend some time with my sweetheart before surgery and beyond.  It was a blessed time.
Sept 2    My last day of work, everyone brought in food, proving we can celebrate just about anything at MBI! Buffalo chicken dip, veggies, chocolate/cayenne pepper, bean dip, chips, yum yums, brownies....it was a blast.
Sept 3   Had to go to the surgeons to be marked.....yeah you stand in front of the man...definitely an artist (thank God) who measures you, draws on you...what they are taking off, what they are leaving....promising to make you look better, do you want to look like Twiggy or Dolly?  AND please don't leave me lopsided!!  It was very awkward...but you could tell I was just like a canvas,he was planning to do his work...to the best of his abilities
Sept 4  Surgery Day...had to be at Kettering at 8am, took me right back and started prepping me.  Joanne came back, she wanted to watch the nurse do my IV, the nurse got nervous!! she blew right threw my vein, felt like she was digging around in there trying to find it!  She left and brought someone else in who done it quickly and painlessly.  Jo said she was visibly nervous...ha ha  ...Thanks Joanne!!    I was wheeled out and around the corner, had already had my sedative, do not remember giving Julia a hug or anything....the next thing I knew I was in recovery, they were checking all my vitals and as soon as I was completely awake they rolled me up to my room.  I saw Tom and the first think he told me was "Did they tell you?? no cancer in the lymph nodes!! good news!"  Thank you Lord....  Spent a night in the hospital and sent home the next day...4 drain tubes, a pain pump for the drain sites and a presciption for vicadin.
Sept 8  Vicadin is my friend...had an apt with Dr Schmidt...took the pain pump out, left the drains...the longest 2 hrs of my life...felt queasy and couldn't wait to fall back into my other friend..the pee couch, my place of rest.  Mostly soreness in the pectoral muscles...keep telling Tom I have phantom nipple pain...you know how when people who have had their leg amputated they have leg pains....he laughs at my jokes  :)
Sept 10.  Another trip to Dr Schmidt...not to bad this time, removed one drain from each side..two down ..two to go.  for those of you who don't know what they are like check out the you tube video (click on my picture)...yep you can find just about anything on youtube...wouldn't want you to miss out on knowing what your momma went through  :)

Called surgeon about pathology, no cancer , the nurse said "Hallelujah"  Will go back to Dr Anderson on Sept 17 to discuss specifics and what the treatment options are from here, but definately an answer to prayer.
Sept 15  awaiting my next trip to Dr. Schmidt on Thursday...can't wait to get these last two tubes out....one side, my left is still draining some, not much from the right side. Had to call Dr Studebaker for a prescription for a yeast infection...yeah the by product of antibiotics...took some before the surgery for a bladder infection, then a round of antibiotics after surgery, and now a lovely byproduct to deal with....along with the side effects of my friend Vicadin....a nasty hemorrhoid...even with Tom's greatest nightime elixir of Metamucil....ahhh the joys of medicine.   I would feel pretty good pain wise without all the complications....only taking about 4- 5 Vicadin a day instead of 2 every 6 hours when I came home.  Tom and I did two laps around the pond last night..slower than usual, but not too bad.  Started a painting yesterday, combining an idea i had for a decoupage and also the word "hope".  I work a while ...then rest awhile, ha ha. it is my therapy.